Breaking Free: The Walking Away

The intoxicating rush of new passions or connections often masked a deeper fear within me—the fear of not being enough, of losing someone because I couldn't meet their every expectation. This relentless cycle spiraled into self-doubt and quiet self-destruction.

Reflecting on my past, I recall the extremes I once reached just to earn a fleeting glance, a moment of recognition. I wish I could whisper to my former self: "This person is not worthy of your energy. They are blind to the treasure that you are." But time doesn't grant such favors, so I had to learn the hard way. Every lie endured, every ounce of disrespect, every moment of pain has been transformed—reshaped into self-love, unwavering honesty, and a newfound admiration for my own resilience.

No longer shackled by the weight of others' expectations, I stand stronger than ever. The very stones once hurled at me have been repurposed—not as burdens, but as the foundation of a fortress, divinely blessed and fiercely guarded. My actions have always stemmed from love and kindness, but now, I hold the keys to my own life, carefully choosing who is granted entry.

Yet, fears linger—the whispers of doubt warning that pursuing my career goals might come at the cost of meaningful relationships. That leaving a partner could mean a lifetime of solitude, haunted by societal labels. But these fears aren't born from love. True love—authentic, unwavering love—transcends all insecurities. It thrives on trust, respect, and genuine connection, dissolving doubts and fears.

Solitude, however, carries its own magnetic pull. The freedom to focus solely on my dreams, to move without compromise or distraction, is undeniably tempting. But true fulfillment isn't a solitary pursuit; it's woven into the fabric of human connection.

Society has its expectations—relentless comparisons and quiet judgments. The weight of finding someone who will accept me, who will honor both my vulnerabilities and ambitions, looms over me. But in the end, the journey isn't about seeking validation from another. It's about embracing the courage to walk boldly forward, whether alone or hand in hand with someone who truly sees me.

I sat down at the cards, pulled them out of the sleek white box, shuffled them slightly in my hand, closed my eyes, and focused my attention on my question. It always seemed to be the same questions at first, always like, "What message do you have for me, God?" But it would inevitably turn into, "Why do I keep thinking about him?" Much of the pain had dulled by now since I had gone through the actual devastation of it all. I was becoming numb, but thoughts in my head still questioned the reason why, wondering if somehow I was going to receive some sort of justice for all the pain that I had endured—for no reason other than maybe to teach somebody else a lesson. The answers always came back similar: The distance was needed to protect me.

I would fall back onto my bed bury my head into my pillows and dream of constructed amnesia, realizing how far I've come from those days when there was no one there to support me—from those days when I felt so alone, when I touched low self-worth, that I accepted treatment from these horrific people that were in my life. And I thank you God for every single day for helping me get through it once again.

In this journey of self-discovery, I've learned that overcoming self-doubt and building self-love require intentional effort. Challenging negative thoughts and reframing them as opportunities for growth have been pivotal steps for change.scientificorigin.com

Additionally, embracing human connection has enriched my life, as authentic interactions foster a sense of belonging and fulfillment.psychcentral.com

Through this process, I've come to understand that self-love isn't achieved in a day. It's a continuous journey, filled with small victories and setbacks. But every step taken towards accepting and loving myself brings me closer to a happier, more fulfilled existence.hackspirit.com

So, I continue to walk this path, embracing the lessons learned, cherishing the connections made, and nurturing the love that starts from within.

Do you think of me

upon an open sky? 

Do you dream with me

as I say goodbye?

Do you wish somehow

our paths would cross 

as I get lost

amongst the forest frost. 

I’ll search for a way to start a new 

and let my past give me clues 

That new things will find 

my way back to you

when one let’s go of the past 

Nurtures self love 

For its the only one that lasts.

Heather Ann Smith

#SelfLove #Empowerment #HealingJourney #KnowYourWorth #Transformation #BreakFree #NewBeginnings #Confidence #Resilience #SpiritualGrowth #TarotWisdom #LifeLessons #InnerStrength #LetGoAndGrow #OwnYourStory